Idle Mewings

Today I went to pay respects to an older aunt of my wife who passed away comfortably
without any fuss or fury generally observed in all deaths these days. How serene and calm she looked lying for receiving the final respects from her near and dear ones and locals around her home in the village. For once death seemed normal anot so frightening. Two issues however stood out in this event. The first forced me to reflect whether there is any genuineness in relationships, and the second stirred a disturbing chord within me regarding the delaying of final rites for the dead person. In this case even though the only son did manage to arrive by the evening the next day, the cremation was held up, as a sister and a daughter had to arrive two days later.Sitting at that place I watched the reactions of the people around. After some time the dead body had become another piece of furniture lying around. All those coming to pay respects after the initial offerring of respect quite naturally started conversing about other matters of general nature with the body lying in state. While not blaming anyone for such an impasse, I still feel that if the dead are to be paid proper respects then there should be no delay in consigning the body to flames as quiclly as possible, A little bit of crystal ball gazing can avoid such an eventuality and not impose upon the other members of the family at the spot greater emotiional stress and strain. In this case there was all the evidence of the lady passing away a good two days in advance. The sister and daughter who was so keen to see the dead body could easily have made it to her bed side before death had they been a little more thoughtful and considerate. Anyway be that as it may and while not intending to sound judgemental I think it is imperative that all those who are abroad and have ageing parents and relatives do a serious soul searching and ensure that they work out arrival schedules in a manner that they are not the cause for heaping more emotional stress on the already stressed family who are unfortunately on the spot and are striving to maintain sanity in an otherwise chaotic situation. Having been the recepient of such mess a year and a half ago,I can only appeal to the inner sense os such people. The effect on those at home is indeed traumatic and more than that defenitely disrespectful to the dead. If one has not been there to see them alive isnt it better that you carry good memories of the dead rather than come and see a body just to satisfy a whim. I do not know if I am right but thats how I feel. The right or wrong of this comment I leave it to my readers to decide.
The second issue pertained to the aspect of relationships.In this case I was quite intrigued to observe the reactions of a brother to the news firstly of his sisters final battle with life and subsequently to the news of her death. In the first instance this gentleman when informed stated that he would come the next morning and in the second case said that since it was night and there was nothing for him to do he would go in the morning. Even the next day he went there as a geust spent a couple of hours and returned stating he would come for the funeral two days later. What raised the cockles not of my heart but my brain was that this same gentleman used to tell me how beholden he was to the decesed for all she had done for him in life. If that was so I thought he should have been with the family in the time of their personal grief. Was it that he was growing old, he was over 78, a reason for this mindset. As an elder I thought he should have been with the family comprising all ladies as the only son was abroad to assist and oversee the final actions.Well that is why the quedtion of relationships and their relevance arose in me. I thought I must reduce it to writing to get it out of my system and seek comments so that if wrong I may see the other side. Notwithstanding all these abberations the bonding in villages is indeed great to see especially in these times of materialism and feigned freindships.